I have my earbuds on, the morning sunshine is warming my face, and I am in my office transport listening to this banger by Noah Kahan,
“If I get too close
And I’m not how you hoped
Forgive my Northern attitude
Oh, I was raised out in the cold”
I was considering posting this as a story, hoping people would catch on that I’m not exactly what I seem from the outside (and let’s be real, I probably already did).
Months later, here I am, writing the very first post of my blog, searching for the perfect way to introduce myself to the world, something that screams to the world that I am special. But in the process, I’ve come to realize something unexpected, as hinted in the title — I’m the most ordinary man you’ll ever meet.
If you ask me what my favourite sport is, it is cricket, the most popular sport in Sri Lanka and across South Asia. My favourite foods are pizzas and chocolates. Almost all my favourite movies have above 7.0 IMDB ratings, mass favouritism. My playlist is filled with the most popular hits. The books I read are classics and the most recommended ones. I work in one of the most traditional corporate environments you could imagine.
It’s mundane, common, and in the grand scheme, simple. Even from a philosophical lens, through the words of Dostoevsky, I am ordinary.
“As for my division of people into ordinary and extraordinary, I acknowledge that it’s somewhat arbitrary, but I don’t insist upon exact numbers. I only believe in my leading idea that men are in general divided by a law of nature into two categories, inferior (ordinary), that is, so to say, material that serves only to reproduce its kind, and men who have the gift or the talent to utter a new word. There are, of course, innumerable sub-divisions, but the distinguishing features of both categories are fairly well-marked.”
– Fyodor Dostoevsky
I’m about halfway to the office and the song White Winter Hymnal by Fleet Foxes is playing in the ears.
“I was following the pack, all swallowed in their coats
With scarves of red tied ’round their throats
To keep their little heads from falling in the snow”
Dostoevsky’s idea is that extraordinary individuals are seen as innovators or disruptors who may transgress laws in pursuit of greater ideals. If you have read this far, you might wonder if you are following the pack too. And you might go into an egotistical chain of thoughts of your own nitty gritty things that make you special or unique.
You may think of the qualifications or skills you have, you might think of the arbitrary titles you held or the appreciation you get to believe you are something extraordinary.
Or you might misunderstand the difference between uniqueness and extraordinary. Let me walk you through my own version of that.
Yes I love Cricket, but I am a stat expert, I am not a casual watcher, I watch from a test match of Zimbabwe vs Bangladesh to the World Cup Final. My playlist is not all Coldplay and BnS, it is filled with Novo Amor’s mellow voice, Fleet Foxes indie folks and some Prateek Kuhad CO2 vibes. I read the most recommended books and watch the highest-rated movies because I don’t want to waste my time watching something ordinary(ironic) or bad. My job has both math and business parts combined, special hah! But here’s the thing: you can easily convince yourself that you’re unique, and in some ways, you are. But uniqueness is easy—it’s almost a given. The real question is: are you extraordinary?
I am nearing my office and the soothing melody of The Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel is playing in my ear.
“And the sign said
“The words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls”
And whispered in the sound of silence”
We have this notion that the aim of life is to be extraordinary. Our Parents said it, our teachers said it, online gurus said it, entrepreneurs on talk shows said it, and our bosses said it and we all aim to be extraordinary. And if all of us become extraordinary none of us will not be extraordinary by definition.
There is a whole chapter named “You are not special” in the book “The subtle art of not giving a fuck” by Mark Manson which explains the pros and cons of extraordinary. I am not going to summarize the entire chapter but here’s the last paragraph and that might give you an idea(Btw I highly recommend the book).
“And the knowledge and acceptance of your own mundane existence will actually free you to accomplish what you truly wish to accomplish, without judgement or lofty expectations. You will have a growing appreciation for life’s basic experiences: the pleasure of simple friendship, creating something, helping a person in need, reading a good book, laughing with someone you care about.”
“Sounds boring, doesn’t it? That’s because these things are ordinary. But maybe they’re ordinary for a reason: because they are what actually matters.”
-The subtle art of not giving a fuck
So I understand that I am ordinary, as the title said, The most ordinary man you will ever meet. And maybe you are too. And if you are not, I am privileged to have you on my blog. Being ordinary gives me the incredible potential to improve, and to strive for better. It’s not a limitation, but an opportunity. When you accept that you’re not exceptional by default, you open yourself up to the possibility of becoming better.
Most importantly appreciate the ordinary life I have, be grateful for the little things, beauty in the small, everyday moments—things we often overlook in the pursuit of greatness and start living.
I am almost near the gate of my office and Fireflies by Owl City is playing.
“I’d like to make myself believe
That Planet Earth turns slowly”
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